How to believe in ghosts.

Step 1

Receive the news. Everything can change in an instant.

Step 2

Jolt. Process. Cry. Rest. Your person is gone. And you can’t even talk to them about it. There is an unlimited supply of strength and snot within you. Wipe your nose.

Step 3

Resist the urge to text your person. You’re in denial. Time has passed and you’re almost functional again. Crack a self-deprecating joke and have a good belly laugh. Your person would find this all very amusing. They know you too well.

Step 4

Look at photos of them when they were happy and healthy. That one of him and your high school mates wearing matching hats. He hand drew the lettering for each one. He's pulling a silly face, almost contorted. Everyone is giggling. The photo captures it all. Talk about these moments. It’s almost like he’s here laughing at these stories with you.

Step 5

Create new memories. Do something for the first time. Do something you always wanted to do but have hesitated about. A three-week French intensive. A trip to Disneyland. Boxing classes. Tap into that unlimited supply of strength.

Step 6

Repeat Steps 2 to 5 in quick succession. And again. And again. Are you going mad? You take up jogging. You can hear him talking to you, asking you why you’ve taken up jogging. Why is he so chatty all of a sudden? You start believing in ghosts. Then you start believing in ghosts as a construct of your mind to fill the void left by the person who has gone. Then you realise they’re gone. Force restart. We’re back to Step 2. This is part of the process.

Step 7

Talk about what’s going on in your head. Tell your mates about your invisible friend. They have them too. Fiona’s grandma is a chatterbox. Charlie’s mum visits occasionally. You've all learned to hold contradictions. Ghosts are real. Ghosts are not real. You're not going mad. You’re transcending death.